I am so out of it right now, I am not even sure what to write. I need to write though- Somehow I need to figure out what is going on with me, and journaling is very helpful for me.
This 6 week challenge I have created is not going well. I have had a few days where I start out well, in a good frame of mind- and by the time I get home from work, its like total sabotage time. I think I have gained at least 4 lbs since my last WW meeting. And that disgusts me. I do not even want to go weigh in- but I know I have to. I need routine back in my life, or I will never get back in the swing of things. I have even been tracking, although its ugly.
Last night I totally binged. I had a good day- I swore off the bad eating the entire day- got in all 8 of my glasses of water before leaving work. I had a fiber bar for breakfast, a southwest grilled chicken salad for lunch- so I was at a total of 11 pts for the day. I got home- went to grocery store- I had the 5.5 pt cottage cheese and tuna salad. Good to go right? Its like 730pm. I go in and want something- Eric had pizza for supper- and it smelled so good. ITs all gone, so that good. But I grab two snack bags, not one, but two! of corn chips... I ate both of them as I dunked them in dark chocolate jello mousee-- and as if that wasnt enough, I think I ate an entire bag of bite size chic-o-sticks. AND THEN!!!!! I ate two bags of sugar free fruit snacks. UGH..... What the heck?
I know that I am stressed with starting college. And I am stress with Quinton going to Junior High, and Nolan upset about hating Baldwin so much. I am obsessing over having a somewhat organized schedule between us all. And then keeping up with the house. Between Eric and the boys, it looks like a tornado every night. I know Eric works hard and in the heat, and he's beat when he gets home- But I am really worried that he's going to be little to no help at home.
Then the cost of school for everyone- tuition, books, supplies, clothes, etc- has really set us back- and that will instantly put me in to panic/stress mode. It is just getting a bit overwhelming- and the closer Monday gets, the more my stomach balls up.
Anyhow- pretty sure all these thoughts are just clouding my head- and its been so hot- I havent gotten in any running in like a couple weeks now. I sort of wish Monday would never come- and yet wish it was over already. Then I can see what type of routine we need to be in.
I am really looking forward to Fall. Ugh, did I just say that? Summer is my favorite, but the weather has been so incredibly hot this last couple weeks- I really enjoy being outdoors, but this is craziness.
I am trying to figure out how to surround myself with that healthy mentality again. I guess I just need to get out there and run- no matter the heat- and get back to Zumba. Back to WW meeting room. Just do it. :) Thats what got me going to begin with, and always gets me back at it when I am in a slump.
Alright enough Debbie Downer talk............
:) Time to put words in to action!
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